November 7th
“ Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it?
It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it
opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside
you and mess you up. You build up these defenses,
you build this whole suit of armor, so that nothing can
hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any
other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life.
You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it.
They do something dumb one day, like kiss you or
smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own any more.
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out
and leaves you crying in the darkness, working its
way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination.
not just in the mind. It’s a soul hurt, a body hurt, a
real gets inside you and rips you apart pain. I hate love. ”
—

-Neil Gaiman

(via quote-book)

Doesn’t make me crave it any less. Love’s beautifully and deliciously painful.

20091107 @ 2017
November 4th
Story of my life.

Story of my life.

20091104 @ 2135
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Song Of The Day

Metric - Gold Guns Girls (Live)

.

I’m a lucky guy. I know this. I have a loving family and material things and I’m doing what I want to do (mostly). The fact that I have all of this and can’t be happy is killing me, slowly carving a big hole in my chest. I’m sick of this feeling of uncertainty and restlessness, like there’s a huge pressure on my chest and nothing can relieve it.

“Is it ever gonna be enough?”

This phrase has been on constant repeat for a while. When is it going to be enough? When am I going to be able to breathe out and feel somewhat happy? I know I’m not, but sometimes, I feel like if I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

14 plays
20091104 @ 2129
October 30th
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Just because I fucking can:

Levi Weaver - Dear Friend

One of my favorite songs of all time. The first time I listened to this… it was nothing short of magical. A bad breakup the day before, a broken heart and a NEED to find something to relate to, this song carried me through the end of 2007, the beggining and most part of 2008 and it still does.

1 plays
20091030 @ 2258
October 29th
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Today’s beautiful song:

Immanu El - In Valleys

When I first heard this song (quite a while ago) I didn’t pay that much attention to it, but a couple of days ago I really paid attention to it and just fell in love with this. I consider this song a pretty awesome ending to a not-so-good day.

15 plays
20091029 @ 2050
October 28th

Packaging LUST.

Now mix that idea with this:

And you’ve got yourself a pretty amazing looking artwork for an album.

20091028 @ 2128
I want to feel like a small kid again. Carefree, happy, relaxed.

I want to feel like a small kid again. Carefree, happy, relaxed.

20091028 @ 2105
“ Among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You’re by no means alone on that score, you’ll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You’ll learn from them—if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It’s a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn’t education. It’s history. It’s poetry. ”
— J.D. Salinger
20091028 @ 2056

Procrastination is an ugly, cross-eyed whore. And I love her.

Yes, I’ve said it. As much as I would like to say that I’m focused, determined and really willing to sacrifice everything to get where I want to, in reality, I love to waste my time doing silly nothings and reading silly nothings (like in here).

I don’t know how to stop from procrastinating and not caring about how behind I’m on studying for the impending Pathology doom that’s coming on monday (also known as the big neoplasms test, part 1). I guess what’s happening is that I’m completely burned out. All my energy is gone, already wasted on past tests and assignments, my will to succeed and the inspiration to get there are gone too (hence the lack of posts in here).

Today, I had an amazing conference on how to prevent meltdowns and being burned out, like I am feeling. It centered about four main aspects.

  • Conditioning
  • Concentration
  • Conectedness
  • Compartments

As good as it sounded, I can’t find a way to take that and apply it to my life. Until then, I think I’ll keep on procrastinating!

20091028 @ 2053
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Today’s heartbreaking song: Barcelona’s ‘Please Don’t Go’.

The awesome Tiffelie told me to listen to this song carefully and, yesterday, I finally did it. To say I was completely floored by the first chorus is a complete understatement. This song showed up unexpected, but I definitely needed to feel something (anything really).

On a more catch-up note, school is suddenly stressful again. I don’t know where this semester went to, but I’ll start the final round of tests before my finals next week, I’m trying to stress over it, but I can’t get myself to care…. more on that on the next post (up soonish)

3 plays
20091028 @ 1929